Movie Outrage Rant

So last night I went to see Rachel Getting Married.

No, this is not a rant about the movie. In fact, the movie was great and Anne Hathaway was absolutely amazing.

No, this rant is about my movie experience.

So the movie was playing at the Sawgrass Regal 23. For those not SoFla-inclined, Sawgrass is a huge mall located at what was once the edge of the Everglades, but thanks in part to the mall's presence, the great marsh is much smaller. Anyway, the theater is located in an offshoot of the mall called The Oasis, which is an outdoor area filled with upscale shops, restaurants, gaming venues and, of course, the theater.

I arrived early, as is my norm and walked around even though it was raining. I got a cafe con leche since I was a bit chilly from the rain and found a spot to sit and people watch. I've spent a lot of time at that particular mall since I used to go there to exercise. It's indoors (except for the Oasis part), it's two miles from end to end, it's got wooden floors and it's air conditioned. Hence, a pleasant place to walk.

Anyway, in the past the mall and the Oasis are usually packed full, even on a Thursday/rainy evening, especially just a couple of weeks before Christmas. However, as I sat I noticed that there were hardly any people there at all and those that were, were nearly all speaking in a language not English or Spanish (we're bilingual here). So, the people who were shopping were probably not Americans.

And then I noticed something else...all of the upscale stores had sales signs you'd expect to see AFTER Christmas, not before. Then I saw that the Hard Rock Cafe was closed, as well as Wolfgang Puck's, which made me sad because that's where I took Tamie for our first date. Cheesecake Factory was still there and they seemed to be doing okay because there were people sitting outside despite the rain, but Legal Seafood had maybe three couples in it so I'll bet next time I go there, it'll be gone.

Depressed now at the obviously sad state of our economy, I finished up my coffee and winced as I paid the ten dollars for my ticket. Yeah, it's been a while since I've been to the movies. I thought about buying a small popcorn, but wasn't going to shell out another six bucks. So, bathroom break and then inside the very small theater. It was empty, but about a half dozen more people had come in to watch the movie with me.

So...at the box office I bought a ticket for the 5:20 showing of Rachel Getting Married and at 5:20 I put away my handheld (on which I had been reading some Devil Wears Prada fanfiction) and looked at the screen expecting to see the coming attractions replace the constant commercials I had been ignoring since walking in the theater.

The commercials went on.

And on.

And on some more.

Oh sure, we got about three coming attractions (two of which were Bride Wars and Doubt, much to my delight), but the actual movie itself didn't start until almost six o'clock! I had just paid ten dollars for the privilege of watching 40 minutes of commercials.

I was pissed. But then I forgot to be pissed when the not-so-lovely-for-a-change Anne Hathaway appeared on the screen puffing away on a cigarette. (By the way, anyone know if she was successful in her attempt to quit?)

Halfway through the movie I remembered why I hadn't been to the movies in a long time. I had to pee and there wasn't a pause button in sight. Damn that cafe con leche! And my standing nipples had nothing to do with Annie for a change; it was freezing in there. And the sound was too loud. So by the time the film was over I was miserable and literally ran for the bathroom.

So that's my movie rant. As for the movie itself, like I said it was great. It was like being a fly on the wall watching a family even more dysfunctional than my own. Anne deserved to be nominated for the Golden Globe. As for if she should win or not, well...I have to see Doubt first before I can decide that one. Believe me, only Meryl can get me to endure that kind of torture again.

I promise...no coffee and I'll bring a sweater. And maybe some earplugs.

That's all!

--->Susan